D is for desperate

The Edinburgh clubs have been hogging the headlines recently, but they are not the only ones in crisis. (Not that there's a crisis at all, of course. Hibs have pulled themselves a sexy, if untested, new manager in John Collins, probably the most urbane Scottish footballer of the past 2 generations, while Hearts are absolutely on track and there's nothing to worry about. Honest.)

No, the 2 clubs at the foot of the SPL are in it up to their necks, and have decided a change of manager is exactly what's needed to get the journalists to make the trip across the Forth Road Bridge.

Jim Leishman was first to go, sacking himself as manager of Dunfermline after the 4-0 battering by Hibs last week. He's likely to stay on at the club in some capacity but he was still very emotional when breaking the news to the players. An honourable and decent man, Leishman loves the Pars to bits, and used to support them as a boy. More pertinently, he performed miracles for them in the 1980s, as Dunfermline crawled their way up into the top division, their fans shrugging off the patronising remarks from supporters of "bigger" teams as they did so. He will be revered by those same fans for a long time to come, but they probably need a change to turn their season around. Leishman admitted a few weeks ago that the squad was good enough to survive this season - an implicit admission that the management wasn't.

It looked as if Craig Levein, the man who walked out of Hearts as soon as he got wind of a potential takeover by a certain V. Romanov, would be his replacement. But, instead, he's gone to Dundee Utd to replace Craig Brewster.

Dundee Utd somewhat ludicrously suggested on Monday that Brewster's departure was a "mutual and amicable" agreement, despite the fact that just a week ago the manager was insisting he would "never" walk away from the job. Mind you, this is the same club that denied its chairman had ever said anything disparaging about Brewster, after the entire press room had overheard him slagging him off in a phone call.

Be in no doubt, Dundee Utd are cursed. The only question is whether that is because of the chairman, or something more fundamental (although given the chairman is currently battling prostate cancer as well, it's easy to draw simplistic - and tasteless - conclusions).

Eddie Thompson has now appointed his 5th manager in 5 years (he claimed today it was a decision made by the board, but this is a one-man show). The first 4 were all sacked because they weren't delivering on the chairman's expectations - but with each sacking, those expectations have had to be lowered still further. Craig Brewster was tasked with steadying the ship and regaining a little bit of respect for the Tannadice club. Levein has been brought in to avoid relegation, at whatever cost. He's probably the right man for the job but don't expect it to be pretty. Levein's Hearts played some of the ugliest football in the SPL, and nothing he's done since has suggested any change in his "ping-it-tae-the-big-man" philosophy.

But just what is it with the Tangarines anyway? They're another club who were great in the 1980s, and maybe that's enough to condemn them to the karmic pain they are now experiencing. Thompson has put some money in, buying a big squad on some big salaries, but the results have been abysmal. Craig Brewster was in charge for just 28 games, but won just 2 of them. That's beyond poor.

One player, who had a horrible weekend when he was caught in a nasty challenge by Gary Caldwell, sums up their problems. David Fernandez played so well for Livingston that Celtic bought him for £1m. They then discovered he wasn't quite as good as their existing strikers, the player's confidence dipped because he wasn't in the team, and Celtic eventually off-loaded him. Dundee Utd signed him, but he did nothing for them, suggesting that he was washed up as a player. So they released him as well. But then he signed for Kilmarnock and - guess what? - he's looked pretty tidy again. In fact, until he got injured, he was the most dangerous player on the pitch, causing Celtic's defence all sorts of problems. Unfortunately, he is now out for the rest of the season with a knee injury, and Killie are gonna miss him.

Perhaps chastened by the fact it took Dundee Utd only a day to appoint a new manager, Hibs have finally replaced Tony Mowbray. John Collins started his successful playing career at Hibs, and is now hoping history repeats itself as a manager. He's untested, then, but a bold, high-profile appointment for the club. It's a good first job for him as well, but although the squad has plenty of talent, they lack discipline - in both senses. At times they are tactically naive, failing to hold the lead in games they should be winning, and they can be petulant when things don't go their way, picking up too many bookings, as shown on Monday night, when they had Chris Killen sent off and ended up losing 2-1 against Aberdeen. Collins will need to translate the professionalism he displayed as a player into the way his team plays.

Hmm, an entire posting almost done, and barely a mention of Hearts? Shurely Shome Mishtake?

Falkirk 5-1 Dundee Utd
Dunfermline 1-1 Hearts of Mid-Lithuania FC
St Mirren 1-1 Inverness
Rangers 1-1 Motherwell
Kilmarnock 1-2 Celtic
Aberdeen 2-1 Hibernian